Doing a little happy dance thanks to allowing my little angel to speak louder then my little devil on again!!!
As many of you may remember, I had a great summer & fall listening to my little angel so I stayed focus on my long term goal to become healthier and more in shape. Like with most people, I lost some of that focus over the holidays and the first couple of months of 2013. Old habits of how I used to deal with stress and drama slowly crept back, given my little devil a louder voice.
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| I'm adding this as a reminder of one of my motivations - to get a tattoo to cover my scar on 5-27-13 |
For example, last summer I completely eliminated all processed & artificial sugars from my diet. I stayed in track through the holidays mostly. I shed so many pounds, but also had increased my exercise routine and was eating healthier and more reasonable portioned sized meals. A few weeks ago, as in all our lives, I had to deal with a lot of stress and anxiety. I subconsciously resorted to old habits of over indulging in comfort foods and my sweet tooth. Next thing I realized, some of those once shed pounds were finding their way back.
In the past, the guilt and shame would be enough to keep me off track. I would feel overwhelmed and frustrated, not to mention, extremely guilty & defeated. Each night I would tell myself tomorrow was a new day, and I'd start over again. Each new day I'd wake up saying to myself, today would be a good day. But it didn’t last longer than my morning routing. I would still let my little devil have too much say and power over my little angel’s words of wisdom. Something would happen during the day to stress or overwhelm me. I'd make an excuse why it was OK not to exercise or OK to 'treat' myself to some unhealthily food or portion size. Next thing I knew, my "tomorrow is a new day" day was suddenly 3-6 months later.
However, I'm very happy to report that didn't happen this time!
Don’t think I’m some miracle person. This still wasn't automatic. I was very happy to stop by binge-eating of comfort foods after just one day. But it did take me about 2 weeks to get back on track completely with not only eating healthy and exercising, but also, to re-apply all that I learn. And now, I can say I'm grateful for all the lessons I got to learn about myself this past month or so.
My first lesson - it's OK to find out what doesn't work for you! I know this will sound like a broken record. But for me, I need to keep saying it over and over so it sinks it. My little angel reminds me that I have to embrace this, so that if I have a bad week, which I most likely will in life, I won’t feel guilty and ashamed anymore. By doing so, I don't let those old negative feelings hamper my ability to stay focus on my long- term goals.
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| Raman Noodles with Shrimp Garlic & Tomato Sauce |
Next thing I learned - although all my blood sugar numbers are in the healthy range, if I truly want to achieve that size 6 toned body, processed and artificial sugars are not good for me. I also learned I can satisfy all my sweet tooth cravings with fresh fruits and other nature-made sweet things like honey. Having indulged in processed & artificial sugar added foods, not only did I gain weight, but I felt sluggish and even started to feel aches and pains in some joints in muscles I thought I had gotten rid of for good.
This next thing I learned, exercise is my friend in more ways then one! Not only is it helping to get my body into a tattoo-ready canvas, but its helping me mentally and for my long-term goals. First, my little angel reminded me how exercising has been improving my joint and energy levels. A few years ago, I felt like my joints would just ache when it was cold out. My feet were always sore having bad arches. And I was sub-consciously avoiding stairs from the pain I’d feel in my knees. Since I started last summer, I’m no longer wasting money on arch supports for my shoes! I realized I not only go up stairs without feeling pain, but I no longer stop to think about the fact that I’m going up stairs anymore. And the only time I feel aches and pains in my muscles and joints, is after a good workout. And it’s the good soreness, not the type I used to need pain killers for. My little angel also reminded me I hadn’t needed to buy a new bottle of Aleve since last June either! Another great accomplishment, seeing how I used lived for the 2-for-1 sales at the local drug stores.
I also learned that as much as I think I’m eating healthy, I’m not 100% there yet. Sometime last November I stopped keeping my daily food & exercise log. My little angel and I can already hear many of you groan as you read this. Probably even saying to yourself that you don’t have time or just don’t want to track what you eat. But trust me, it is so important. I really like myfitnesspal.com. They have both an online website and an app for your phone. But you don’t even need that! Even if all you carry with you is a folded piece of paper in your purse or wallet, with access to a pen or pencil, right down what you eat all day! My little angel and I prefer to make sure we have everything entered before dinner, so we can plan for our calories left over. But if you prefer to track at the end of the night, that works too. Eventually you’ll have an idea of what you’re eating and less likely to go over your calories, or points for my WW friends. But I learned that for me, I need to track throughout the day. Plus, since I do have a smart phone, my little angel has more fun tracking other things, like fat, protein, carbs, sodium, sugars, and my exercise.
Adding exercise in is great! When I exercise, it tells me how many calories I burned off. The tool adds the calories back into my allowable calorie intake amount for the day. Instead of eating those earned calories, I rather keep those calories in the “burned off” category and not “re-ate” them. We need to burn approximately 3500 calories to shed one pound through exercise. So if after exercising, it tells me I burnt off 220 calories, I prefer to think that I now only have to burn 3280 more calories to shed another pound, instead of thinking I burned off enough to have a 220 calorie chocolate chip cookie or not feel guilty about having a 325 calorie margarita at dinner. For me, once I burn off calories, I want them gone for good. I have a lot of stored calories on my body that I are more important to me to lose, then it is to digest any extra calories that weren’t apart of my regular planned calorie count for the day. Don’t get me wrong though. If I’m hungry and I want to have a little something extra and I have the extra exercise calories, I’m not feeling guilty about eating them. But my little angel reminds me to do that only occasionally, not regularly.
The last lesson I’ve had to learn, and am still working on with my little devil is this….
It is OK to put myself first!
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| Raman Noodles with green chillies Avocado, Tomatoes, black beans, green pepper, paprika, & munster cheese |
Not sure if its an Irish-thing, Catholic-thing, or little of both. But some where along the years of growing up with Catholic and family beliefs, and being a woman, I got so wrapped up in being there for others, I not only wasn’t there for myself, but the guilt was so over-whelming whenever I tried to do something for myself but couldn’t be there to help someone else. So I stopped being there for myself. Guilt is a dangerous emotion. Catholics are raised to be humble and self-sacrificing. My family up-bringing was also filled with family tradition and values. Your family is important. Friends may come and go, but your family is always there for you. The guilt of not being let into heaven, or becoming the black sheep of the family if I broke tradition, was a huge influence on most important decisions in my life. But through it all, I never thought of being there for others as a sacrifice, because I felt less guilty doing so.
Maybe its just a natural instinct or from being a girl-scout, but I have always loved and got great joy from helping others. I liked being asked to clap out the erases for the teacher and even continued on volunteering in the library after all my community service hours were done. Being crafty, I was so honored and blessed to be part of many close family and friend’s wedding days by making various accessories fro them. My love of cooking allowed me to be able to make something or help out in the kitchen for a party. My love of children and animals made babysitting or animal watching not only fill a void in my life, but brought many wondering memories I would never have wanted to miss. Then finally, all my challenges in life, I believe have made me a very open-minded and non-judgmental person, giving me tools to be a good listener to help others get through their challenging moments in life. Not one of these things would I ever want to change.
But that’s also my biggest challenge. Being able to help others is something I take so much pride and happiness from. It’s a huge part of who I am. It’s something my little angel has always been so proud of me for. So the struggle to allow myself to put myself first and not feel guilty about it, while finding the balance to still be available to help others, will probably be an on going challenge for me.
Before now, I never thought of my little devil as having a voice in this part of my life. But apparently she did. My little devil is the one who made me feel guilty and not allow my little angel to speak up more. My little angel telling me that needing to love myself by putting my own simple needs first hadn’t been heard in years. After a while, she just gave up trying to remind me. My little angel seemed to have just accepted defeat in this battle against my little devil. But no more. I now have to let my little angel speak up to keep me in balance. She must have a stronger louder voice to say, its not only OK to do things just because they’re for me and make me happy, but as along as its not illegal or unhealthy, I have to start doing them more. She has to remind me that it’s equally as important as if I were helping someone else. Course, my little angel also must work with my little devil to help me keep that balance between still being there for others, while making sure I don’t sacrifice loving and respecting myself.
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| Lettuce, tomato, black olive, black beans, turkey bacon bits, & taco seasoning |
So, now that I have shared all the lessons I learned, its time to share some even better news. After allowing my little angel to become the louder voice again, I got back on track with tracking my food, eating healthy and exercising more consistently. So after just 2 short weeks of being back on track, I quickly shed almost 7lbs!
I'm back to experimenting with healthier fun recipes and loving it too! And if my scale at home is anything like the one in my group meetings, this Thursday’s weigh in should show I I’m back on track to shedding pounds like I did last summer! Happy Dancing all around!!!
I'll keep you posted and thanks again for all you support me on this journey!
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