Yes, I have to admit my little devil had a minor victory this past week....I never posted the promised blog. So my little angel and I humble apologize to any of my supporters who were waiting for it.
Here's the recap:
As you know, the previous week, I got rid of another 2.5 pounds bringing my grand total to 9.7 pounds gone forever. (My little angel is trying to appease her older sister, who isn't a fan of me saying "pounds released". LOL So switched to saying "pounds gone forever", as it still ensures me that this time it will be permanent. Little victory for both my little angel & devil!)
Last week's group meeting was all about the dreaded EMOTIONAL EATING! My little angel and little devil were both all ears last week. Mainly because I believe this to be the main issue with my weight loss journey over the years that I have never been able to successfully conquer...until now. No surprise, emotional eating is the number one issue for most women trying lose weight or improve their health. Course, men do also have moments of emotional eating/drinking at times too.
During the meeting, everyone went around the room to say if that struggled with emotional eating, and if so, WHEN & HOW. I was one of the last to go, which turned out to be a blessing for me. As I sat there listening to each person, a strange but empowering feeling came over me. I definitely remembered experiencing all the moments and reasons why they gave in to their emotional eating moments that past week. But it wasn't just my little devil remembering, it was also my little angel. As each person spoke, my little angle became more and more aware that each situation where I could relate, was all in the past!!! I had not had one moment of emotional eating since I officially started this program! And to empower my self-confidence further, my little angel reminded me that its been 3 whole weeks! 21 straight days! Which I always heard that in order to make or break a habit, you have to follow the same pattern for 21 consecutive times. So this realization was great encouragement for me. I succeeded 21 days without any emotional eating! Another happy dance moment for my little angel and me. Course now, my little angel is encouraging me to go for 21 weeks now! To which, I anxiously accept the challenge.
To help keep my emotional eating at bay permanently this time, our group health coach gave a lot of tips:
- There's a great website (http://www.helpguide.org/) that provides a lot of tips on recognizing emotional eating triggers and how prevent emotional eating.
- She also broke down the differences between Emotional Hunger & Physical Hunger, my little angel can be more prepared for when my little devil tries to trip me out. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly, craves specific foods, leads to mindless eating, the hunger is not located in your stomach, you won't feel satisfied on a full stomach, and often leads to regret, guilt or shame when you're done eating. Physical Hunger on the other hand, comes on gradually, you are open to eating all types of food, stops when you are full, and doesn't make you feel bad about yourself.
- Our group Health Coach also gave us the following mental tips that will continue to help my little angel be stronger than my little devil in the Emotional Eating Combat.
- When feeling tempted, stop and think - "Will I feel guilty or ashamed if I eat it? If yes, then don't eat it"
- Know your triggers. Pause when you have a craving and ask myself why do I want this. If its because I'm stressed, bored or just rewarding myself, but not hungry - Do not eat it.
- That the power back from the food. Change your mindset that food is just a source of fuel for our body. Not a reward or miracle cure for what ever my feelings are.
- Start tracking all the good food and activity choices you make, so you don't focus on just where you fail. Even the moments when you make a good decision grocery shopping, or deciding to go for a walk instead of watching a ball game or rerun on TV. Recognizing good steps empowers you to stay focused and overcome the weak moments.
- We were all encouraged to start keeping a Food & Mood Log. In essence, its a series of questions that require me to track not only what I ate, but my feelings before I chose the food, why I choose the food, what need was the food fulfilling and was there a better or healthier option for me next time. (My little devil is sadly doing a little jig, as this was one step of the program I haven't done. But my little angel is telling me to ignore my little devil, because thanks to this blog, I won't be forgetting to do now. )
Last Wednesday, I also had my first Health Coach visit outside of the weight loss program Health Coaching. This health coaching is also a free service provided by the company. After attending my first session, my little angel is smacking my little devil over the head for not encouraging me to take full advantage of this service months ago! But no crying over spilled milk as they say. My little angel is so excited that the light bulb finally went off and decided to pursue this benefit.
Melissa is just so positive and encouraging, yet down to earth, sincere and wanting to make me a sucess, that I just can't help but know deep in my heart that this time, I will finally, once and for all be successful at this life-long goal...to feel and be as pretty and beautiful as many others often told me they saw me as over the years.
First, I have to go back a little bit in time. Back in my late college years, my sister, Deb was already out in the world working and traveling. One day I received a postcard from her. (Deb is really great to this day about using the postal system to send thank you cards and postcards. She told me once that she would never stop because it was still nice for people to go to their mail box and have something other then junk mail and bills to look forward to. Her thoughtfulness alone is probably responsible for keeping the post office in business.)
Anyway, back to the postcard. When I looked at the picture on the card, I almost cried. I showed my mom and other sisters the card, thinking it was mean, and how could she send this to me. On this postcard was a simple hand-sketched drawing of a man standing holding his hands in the air up to a spaceship, as he's yelling "Take me, Take me!" To which, the spaceship responds back, "No! You're Ugly". My mom and other sisters all laughed when the saw the picture, then proceeded to tell me what seems to be an inside joke amongst all of them for years. Even back in my skinny thinner days, I always found something wrong with the way that I looked and always considered myself "ugly". My family will all tell you that they would always gave me compliments trying to make me believe I was beautiful like they saw me. But in my warped brain, while I might agree with them that I had pretty blue eyes, a pimple growing on my chin would stand out more, so in my mind, I was still ugly. Or one of my sisters would say they wished they had my long legs, but all I would see were a bruise from something I tripped over, so again, in my mind, I was still "ugly." And the list would go on. So after while, yet unknown to me until this postcard arrived, my sisters and mom seems to just laugh at the fact that I always considered myself "ugly". So they knew when Deb sent this postcard, it wasn't that she thought I was ever ugly, she was just trying to make fun of the fact that always I did, and they never understood how I could possibly see myself as "ugly".
Its been quite a number of years since I received that postcard, but having Melissa in my corner, I finally believe I will soon confidently see myself as my mom and sisters always have. That thought has my little angel so overjoyed and she can hardly wait for this time next year when I'm no longer afraid to look in a mirror or have my picture taken.
How did Melissa manager to do what my family and friends haven't? While I know all my family and friends are always willing to be there for me, my little devil often made me hold back in sharing many of my true thoughts in fear of being judged. At one point while trying to explain to Melissa when I thought I first started my unhealthy body image and dieting, I stopped. I apologized because I felt like I was dumping all this background that she didn't care about, and I should probably be talking to a therapist about. She stopped me and said, "No need to apologize. Health coaching is all about the body, mind and spirit. They all have to be healthy in order for us to succeed at anything." It was right at that moment that my little angle, little devil and I knew....this was the piece of the puzzle I've been missing all these years. Now that I found it, my confidence levels soared! I didn't need a magic pill, a diet shake or surgery to be a success. I didn't have problem being a success, I had a problem staying successful, because I didn't know how to make my mind healthy. But now, I finally have the tools I need plus I have Melissa!
Which, she also reminded me again later on. She asked me to describe my support system. After talking about all my friends, family, and co-workers who were cheering me on and backing me up, I stopped and thought I had one of the best support systems out there. Even felt bad for a few people in my group who said they preferred not to tell anyone because they were afraid of all the negative criticism. After going through some pretty difficult times in my past being afraid to seek out support, I learned that accepting support is one of the best things you can do to help you through your struggles. Its so much easier to block out the negative comments, when you have hundreds more in positive and loving comments from those who really matter. But after providing my list, too which my little angel was standing confidently, Melissa said I forgot 2 people. Me, who should always be considered my #1 supporter always. And then, she had me write her name down. I can call or email at anytime. She will always be there for me to help me.
After that, she explained she has her clients set up quarterly goals, and then each week we set up goals to help reach our quarterly goal. The best part is that unlike the group program, the individual health coaching sets up goals to help with my mindset too! I won't share them all, but one, many women struggle with, is getting compliments. I was told once by a former manager, that people who are raised Catholic, especially if they go to Catholic Schools, are raised to believe they always have faults that need to be worked on, and if we were to just focus on compliments, we're breaking one of the seven deadly sins, pride. Therefore, we grow up having a hard time accepting & believing in compliments and prefer feedback and critisms to work on.
So one of my goals is that I have to start accepting compliment. Just say "Thank you". Don't defend them. Own them. When people used to compliment me on how pretty or unique my blue eyes were, it made me uncomfortable. I didn't do any hard work to get them. So my response would always be “Thanks, I was born with them.” But in order to own and believe in the compliment, I now have to just say “Thank you.” Sounds simple, but both my little angel and little devil know this goal will be harder than giving up sugar. To quote a line from one of my favorite movie, which ironically is Pretty Woman, "The bad stuff is easier to believe." Course, knowing that I need to improve my mindset to be a forever success, my little angel has pledged to help me accept compliments.
Since last Wednesday, I've had a couple obstacles to overcome. But I also had more great moments. I managed to work out in the fitness center a bit longer and got more weight training in. Plus on Saturday, Mom and my schedules finally coincided so we made it to the indoor track to walk. Mom graciously told me to continue on while she gave her legs a rest. Then afterwards we went shopping for fresh fruits for both of us. I didn't even bother me as much when she stopped to pick up ice cream for Dad. Another victory for my little angel! On Sunday, I was dropping Bailey off by my folks as I was going to be home late on Monday. Mom and Dad were once again so supportive. Invited me for dinner, and called to make sure what they were planning was still within my health plan. When it was time for dinner, I not only stuck to portion sizes, but this time, my parents remained very supportive by not encouraging me to have seconds. (A norm in our family growing up.) Dessert was one of my favorites. Blueberries & Raspberries with a tspn of Cool Whip! Monday I was also nervous. My new manager was coming in from Carmel and wanted to take me out to dinner. I wished it was any other day then the day before my weigh-in day. But my little angel reminded me that we can't always plan for things like this. However, we can plan for what we will eat. After deciding on the restaurant, I was able to look up the menu before I went and figure out the calorie counts of items that looked good. So I ordered their salad, with dressing on the side, and their seared Mahi-Mahi. Fortunately, my new manager's stomach was still unsettled after lunch, so she was not drinking alcohol. That made it very easy for me to just order my unsweetened iced tea.
My new manager is also interested in getting rid of some pounds, so she was very anxious to hear about the program through work. And the best part, she already very impressed with both my work and success on the this program, that she's supportive of me keeping my schedules, including working out during lunches too. Yeah!!! Yes....both my little angel and devil did their happy dancing.
So, you're probably all just wondering how my weigh in when this week. I am once again very excited to report that I continued to get rid of some more pounds forever. I got rid of another 2.1 pounds this week, for a new grand total of 11.8 pounds gone forever!!!!
Tomorrow is my second individual health coach meeting, so I'm really looking forward to what me new goals will be for this next week. I promise, I will take time between tomorrow and next week to update you on that meeting, and pass along my ideas for healthy & quick lunch ideas.
Thanks again for all the wonderful support. Love and appreciate all of you!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment