LITTLE DEVIL HAD A MINOR VICTORY THIS WEEK.....

Yes, I have to admit my little devil had a minor victory this past week....I never posted the promised blog.   So my little angel and I humble apologize to any of my supporters who were waiting for it.

Here's the recap:

As you know, the previous week, I got rid of another 2.5 pounds bringing my grand total to 9.7 pounds gone forever.   (My little angel is trying to appease her older sister, who isn't a fan of me saying "pounds released".   LOL  So switched to saying "pounds gone forever", as it still ensures me that this time it will be permanent.   Little victory for both my little angel & devil!)

Last week's group meeting was all about the dreaded EMOTIONAL EATING!   My little angel and little devil were both all ears last week.   Mainly because I believe this to be the main issue with my weight loss journey over the years that I have never been able to successfully conquer...until now.   No surprise, emotional eating is the number one issue for most women trying lose weight or improve their health.   Course, men do also have moments of emotional eating/drinking at times too.  

During the meeting, everyone went around the room to say if that struggled with emotional eating, and if so, WHEN & HOW.    I was one of the last to go, which turned out to be a blessing for me.   As I sat there listening to each person, a strange but empowering feeling came over me.   I definitely remembered experiencing all the moments and reasons why they gave in to their emotional eating moments that past week.   But it wasn't just my little devil remembering, it was also my little angel.   As each person spoke, my little angle became more and more aware that each situation where I could relate, was all in the past!!!   I had not had one moment of emotional eating since I officially started this program!  And to empower my self-confidence further, my little angel reminded me that its been 3 whole weeks!  21 straight days!   Which I always heard that in order to make or break a habit, you have to follow the same pattern for 21 consecutive times.   So this realization was great encouragement for me.  I succeeded 21 days without any emotional eating! Another happy dance moment for my little angel and me.  Course now, my little angel is encouraging me to go for 21 weeks now!  To which, I anxiously accept the challenge.

To help keep my emotional eating at bay permanently this time, our group health coach gave a lot of tips:

1. There's a great website (http://www.helpguide.org/) that provides a lot of tips on recognizing emotional eating triggers and how prevent emotional eating.  
2. She also broke down the differences between Emotional Hunger & Physical Hunger, my little angel can be more prepared for when my little devil tries to trip me out.   Emotional hunger comes on suddenly, craves specific foods, leads to mindless eating, the hunger is not located in your stomach, you won't feel satisfied on a full stomach, and often leads to regret, guilt or shame when you're done eating.    Physical Hunger on the other hand, comes on gradually, you are open to eating all types of food, stops when you are full, and doesn't make you feel bad about yourself. 
3. Our group Health Coach also gave us the following mental tips that will continue to help my little angel be stronger than my little devil in the Emotional Eating Combat.
• When feeling tempted, stop and think - "Will I feel guilty or ashamed if I eat it?  If yes, then don't eat it"
• Know your triggers.  Pause when you have a craving and ask myself why do I want this.  If its because I'm stressed, bored or just rewarding myself, but not hungry - Do not eat it. 
• That the power back from the food.  Change your mindset that food is just a source of fuel for our body.  Not a reward or miracle cure for what ever my feelings are.
• Start tracking all the good food and activity choices you make, so you don't focus on just where you fail.  Even the moments when you make a good decision grocery shopping, or deciding to go for a walk instead of watching a ball game or rerun on TV.  Recognizing good steps empowers you to stay focused and overcome the weak moments.
• We were all encouraged to start keeping a Food & Mood Log.  In essence, its a series of questions that require me to track not only what I ate, but my feelings before I chose the food, why I choose the food, what need was the food fulfilling and was there a better or healthier option for me next time.  (My little devil is sadly doing a little jig, as this was one step of the program I haven't done.  But my little angel is telling me to ignore my little devil, because thanks to this blog, I won't be forgetting to do now. ) 

Last Wednesday, I also had my first Health Coach visit outside of the weight loss program Health Coaching.   This health coaching is also a free service provided by the company.  After attending my first session, my little angel is smacking my little devil over the head for not encouraging me to take full advantage of this service months ago!   But no crying over spilled milk as they say.   My little angel is so excited that the light bulb finally went off and decided to pursue this benefit. 

Melissa is just so positive and encouraging, yet down to earth, sincere and wanting to make me a sucess, that I just can't help but know deep in my heart that this time, I will finally, once and for all be successful at this life-long goal...to feel and be as pretty and beautiful as many others often told me they saw me as over the years.  

First, I have to go back a little bit in time.   Back in my late college years, my sister, Deb was already out in the world working and traveling.   One day I received a postcard from her.   (Deb is really great to this day about using the postal system to send thank you cards and postcards.  She told me once that she would never stop because it was still nice for people to go to their mail box and have something other then junk mail and bills to look forward to. Her thoughtfulness alone is probably responsible for keeping the post office in business.)   

Anyway, back to the postcard.  When I looked at the picture on the card, I almost cried.   I showed my mom and other sisters the card, thinking it was mean, and how could she send this to me.  On this postcard was a simple hand-sketched drawing of a man standing holding his hands in the air up to a spaceship, as he's yelling "Take me, Take me!"   To which, the spaceship responds back, "No!  You're Ugly".   My mom and other sisters all laughed when the saw the picture, then proceeded to tell me what seems to be an inside joke amongst all of them for years.  Even back in my skinny thinner days, I always found something wrong with the way that I looked and always considered myself "ugly".  My family will all tell you that they would always gave me compliments trying to make me believe I was beautiful like they saw me.   But in my warped brain, while I might agree with them that I had pretty blue eyes, a pimple growing on my chin would stand out more, so in my mind, I was still ugly.  Or one of my sisters would say they wished they had my long legs, but all I would see were a bruise from something I tripped over, so again, in my mind, I was still "ugly."  And the list would go on.   So after while, yet unknown to me until this postcard arrived, my sisters and mom seems to just laugh at the fact that I always considered myself "ugly".   So they knew when Deb sent this postcard, it wasn't that she thought I was ever ugly, she was just trying to make fun of the fact that always I did, and they never understood how I could possibly see myself as "ugly".   

Its been quite a number of years since I received that postcard, but having Melissa in my corner, I finally believe I will soon confidently see myself as my mom and sisters always have.   That thought has my little angel so overjoyed and she can hardly wait for this time next year when I'm no longer afraid to look in a mirror or have my picture taken.  

How did Melissa manager to do what my family and friends haven't?   While I know all my family and friends are always willing to be there for me, my little devil often made me hold back in sharing many of my true thoughts in fear of being judged.   At one point while trying to explain to Melissa when I thought I first started my unhealthy body image and dieting, I stopped.  I apologized because I felt like I was dumping all this background that she didn't care about, and I should probably be talking to a therapist about.   She stopped me and said, "No need to apologize.  Health coaching is all about the body, mind and spirit.   They all have to be healthy in order for us to succeed at anything."  It was right at that moment that my little angle, little devil and I knew....this was the piece of the puzzle I've been missing all these years.  Now that I found it, my confidence levels soared!   I didn't need a magic pill, a diet shake or surgery to be a success.   I didn't have problem being a success, I had a problem staying successful, because I didn't know how to make my mind healthy.  But now, I finally have the tools I need plus  I have Melissa!

Which, she also reminded me again later on.   She asked me to describe my support system.   After talking about all my friends, family, and co-workers who were cheering me on and backing me up, I stopped and thought I had one of the best support systems out there.  Even felt bad for a few people in my group who said they preferred not to tell anyone because they were afraid of all the negative criticism.   After going through some pretty difficult times in my past being afraid to seek out support, I learned that accepting support is one of the best things you can do to help you through your struggles.  Its so much easier to block out the negative comments, when you have hundreds more in positive and loving comments from those who really matter.  But after providing my list, too which my little angel was standing confidently, Melissa said I forgot 2 people.   Me, who should always be considered my #1 supporter always.  And then, she had me write her name down.  I can call or email at anytime.  She will always be there for me to help me. 

After that, she explained she has her clients set up quarterly goals, and then each week we set up goals to help reach our quarterly goal.  The best part is that unlike the group program, the individual health coaching sets up goals to help with my mindset too!  I won't share them all, but one, many women struggle with, is getting compliments.   I was told once by a former manager, that people who are raised Catholic, especially if they go to Catholic Schools, are raised to believe they always have faults that need to be worked on, and if we were to just focus on compliments, we're breaking one of the seven deadly sins, pride.   Therefore,  we grow up having a hard time accepting & believing in compliments and prefer feedback and critisms to work on.   

So one of my goals is that I have to start accepting compliment. Just say "Thank you".  Don't defend them.  Own them.   When people used to compliment me on how pretty or unique my blue eyes were, it made me uncomfortable.  I didn't do any hard work to get them.  So my response would always be “Thanks, I was born with them.”  But in order to own and believe in the compliment, I now have to just say “Thank you.”  Sounds simple, but both my little angel and little devil know this goal will be harder than giving up sugar. To quote a line from one of my favorite movie, which ironically is Pretty Woman, "The bad stuff is easier to believe."  Course, knowing that I need to improve my mindset to be a forever success, my little angel has pledged to help me accept compliments. 

Since last Wednesday, I've had a couple obstacles to overcome.  But I also had more great moments.   I managed to work out in the fitness center a bit longer and got more weight training in.  Plus on Saturday, Mom and my schedules finally coincided so we made it to the indoor track to walk.   Mom graciously told me to continue on while she gave her legs a rest.  Then afterwards we went shopping for fresh fruits for both of us.   I didn't even bother me as much when she stopped to pick up ice cream for Dad.  Another victory for my little angel!    On Sunday, I was dropping Bailey off by my folks as I was going to be home late on Monday.   Mom and Dad were once again so supportive.  Invited me for dinner, and called to make sure what they were planning was still within my health plan.   When it was time for dinner, I not only stuck to portion sizes, but this time, my parents remained very supportive by not encouraging me to have seconds.  (A norm in our family growing up.)  Dessert was one of my favorites.   Blueberries & Raspberries with a tspn of Cool Whip!    Monday I was also nervous.  My new manager was coming in from Carmel and wanted to take me out to dinner.   I wished it was any other day then the day before my weigh-in day.  But my little angel reminded me that we can't always plan for things like this.  However, we can plan for what we will eat.   After deciding on the restaurant, I was able to look up the menu before I went and figure out the calorie counts of items that looked good.   So I ordered their salad, with dressing on the side, and their seared Mahi-Mahi.   Fortunately, my new manager's stomach was still unsettled after lunch, so she was not drinking alcohol.  That made it very easy for me to just order my unsweetened iced tea.  

My new manager is also interested in getting rid of some pounds, so she was very anxious to hear about the program through work.  And the best part, she already very impressed with both my work and success on the this program, that she's supportive of me keeping my schedules, including working out during lunches too.   Yeah!!!   Yes....both my little angel and devil did their happy dancing. 

So, you're probably all just wondering how my weigh in when this week.   I am once again very excited to report that I continued to get rid of some more pounds forever.    I got rid of another 2.1 pounds this week, for a new grand total of 11.8 pounds gone forever!!!!  

Tomorrow is my second individual health coach meeting, so I'm really looking forward to what me new goals will be for this next week.   I promise, I will take time between tomorrow and next week to update you on that meeting, and pass along my ideas for healthy & quick lunch ideas.   

Thanks again for all the wonderful support.  Love and appreciate all of you!!!!

And My Grand Total Pounds Released for the Week is….

Yeah, you’re going to have to keep reading to find out. Come on, my little devil has been behaving all week. So figured I’d let her have a little fun with this blog. 

Course, my little angel will give you a little update regarding the term “released”. Our group health coach, Melissa, is big on us avoiding certain words that could sabotage us achieving our goals. For example, she doesn’t like the word “try”. If we’re really committed to our goals, then we have to say “I will” or “I am going to”. Saying “I’ll try” says you’re not fully committed, so I need to break the habit of saying I’ll try and just say I will. She also prefers that we not refer to our drop in weight as “losing” weight. Her thought is that most “lost” things are “found”. But when you “release” something, its permanent. So, from now on, you’ll get to her about how many pounds and inches I’ve “released”. 

This week’s group meeting topic was Self-Esteem & Confidence. Melissa gave us Webster’s definition for “confidence”:

“The quality or state of being certain. A feeling of being unstoppable. “

Being one who often struggles with low self-esteem and confidence, both my little angel and devil were all ears for today’s meeting.

First, she talked about ways our self-esteem get destroyed. She asked if anyone in the room felt they had bad self-esteem. Knowing that being 100% honest is the only way for me to breakdown all my obstacles, I raised my hand. The health coach asked me when did I first notice I had low self-esteem. My little angel gave me strength to be honest as I said, “my self-confidence has been on an up and down roller-coaster all my life.” At that point, she reminded everyone that what is said there stays there (so we build trust by not talking about others outside the group, but I can talk about myself). So then she asked me, was there a particular moment I can remember. Knowing that this was only an hour session and wanted to give others a chance to talk, I decided to just summarize it.

I just spoke briefly about some of my illnesses as a kid, moving, then losing my very close cousin, Michael to leukemia, and my other real life angel, Teresa Foley, who died tragically in a bathtub accident a little over a year later.   I learned years later that all these experiences proved that I was a natural survivor, but at the time, I lost a lot of self-esteem.  It was just the first of many times over the years my emotional roller coasters would knock down my self-esteem.   But I can say that I now know I am a strong natural survivor who can overcome any obstacles, which my little angel reminds me is the reason why I know I am in the best mind to be successful finally at this goal.

Next, we spoke about ways to build our confidence and self-esteem.  A few items she mentioned were pretty obvious after she said them.  Dressing confident and having good posture will give you that natural confidence.  Self-talk, like being positive and telling yourself you can, will also help build or maintain confidence levels.  Through a little in class exercise, I also learned that by taking on risks to conquer my fears, I improve my self-esteem significantly.  I'm not ready yet to have tons of pictures of me taken, but by setting like goals to conquer something each week or month, will have me ready for a full photo spread by next summer.  While my little angel is quite happy about this thought, my little devil is excited about being able to divert some its stored energy into helping me take some risks to help me get over some of the fears that sometimes prevents me of trying new things.  Don't worry, my little angel is making sure its all legal and safe.  

She also gave us a list of about 20 Basic Needs that if they aren't met, our self-esteem and confidence level can be low.   As I looked over the list, I can tie in some other moments in my life where my confidence & self-esteem were low to a specific need that was missing in my life at the time.   So, it was all starting to make sense.   My little angel tells me to hang on to this list.  I can use it as future warning of potential triggers & develop a plan to stop my little devil from sabotaging my goals.   Course, all of us laugh a little when one of them is "being touched".  If people don't not experience other human touch after a while, it can have a negative impact on their self-esteem too.  However, we're not laughing at the concept, but more at how my sister, Deb, who is one of the most confident people I know, yet, we lovingly refer to her as our "Don't Touch Me Sister".   :-)

Finally, we touched on our SMART goals.   I created 3 goals as I was supposed to, but I'll need to redo one of them.  I got kudos for attaching a reward idea to each, but I forgot one of them had to be about a nutritional goal - all 3 of mine were physical goals.   However, she still likes my goals and said adding a 4th  would be OK if I wanted.

Oh wait....I guess that's not really final now is it.   My little angel has reminded me that I've left you in suspense long enough.  How much weight did I release this week?  After giving up all sugar, with the help of a great support system, managing to exercise 3 days in this heat, I released a total of ...............................7.2 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   My little devil couldn't help but do a little dosey-do with my little angel in celebration when the number came up on the scale!   Woo Hoo!!!!

Needless to say, this has been a great boost for my self-confidence.   I did notice after week 2 of group classes, that to really insure achieving my goals, I do much better with the individual one-on-one health coach sessions.  So I approached Melissa after this class and asked her if I could sign up for the separate one-on-one health coaching too.  She was very excited to tell me yes, and that she would be my health coach for all them!   So I will have my first official session with her next week!  I'm feeling even more excited and optimistic about finally getting where I need to be in the natural healthy way.  

Oh..one last note.   She also asked everyone if they felt they had a support group outside of the group sessions.    There were only 2 of us who said we did.  So thank all of you for your wonderful comments & actions of support.  And those of you who have offered to work out with me, I will take you up on those offers soon.    

Thanks again and until next time, have a wonderful week!

Week Two – My Little Angel vs My Little Devil

This week I got to meet my official personal health coach -Linda!

As I sat waiting anxiously for my 8:30am appointment, I read a health magazine’s recipe for what looked to be a really good Mexican taco lasagna. Instead of noodles, it used corn tortillas.  Instead of ground beef or sausage, it used chili beans. Cheddar cheese instead of mozzarella and ricotta cheeses, salsa instead of marinara, and then added olives and jalapeños.  Looked like something yummy to try, so I’ll just store it in the recipe section of my brain for later.  It was soon time to go in.

Nurse Debby greeted me and took me to my little room.   She is such a warm friendly person, you just have to feel positive and up beat around her.  

As I waited for Linda, I looked over my food log.  On my food log, I opted to pick my 3 worst days.  Because, quite frankly, I have more bad days then good days when I’m not feeling 100% motivated.   I really wanted her to give me tips on how to avoid bad food days.  It also helped that this last week was filled with stress & anxiety about my car, a holiday, and having dinner with my parents.  Mind you, dinner with my parents doesn't mean it's bad food, I just tend to let my guard down and over eat when I’m there.   Something about being comfort food and food I don’t make for myself.

Next, I looked over my motivators and things preventing me from achieving my goals.  I was told to be 100% honest if I really wanted this to work for me.  So I was.   For motivators, I checked off the obvious, to be healthier, look & feel better, more energy, and more self-esteem.   Plus, it also had “to be a good role model” - so I checked that one off pretty quickly.   For things preventing me, again many were checked off.  Standard ones like time, cost, holidays/celebrations, & stress.  Also checked off low self-esteem here.  I have a self-sabotage history where I’ll do really well in the beginning, but once I lose that motivation, I start the slow down hill cycle of giving up little by little, until I’m back to square one or even 10 to 20 steps further behind.  Again I need to be 100% honest in order to stop this cycle once and for all.   

No sooner do I finish reviewing my list, then in comes Linda.   Linda is a certified physician assistant and based on her medical background, I’m very encouraged that she could be the best health coach for me.   Not only does she have a broad experience in outpatient primary care, she also specializes on women’s health, dermatology, and also designed and taught a graduate course in Health Promotion and Disease Prevention.  Linda earned her PA degree from Johns Hopkins School of Health Services and her Bachelor’s degree from Boston University, both which are pretty impressive schools.  With her impressive background, I expected someone who was more “let’s get down to business” and no messing around.   I was happily surprised to find out that she is not only down to earth, but very open and friendly.   

Once again, I was told I was her first person, so I was going to be the “learn as we go” person for them.   Makes sense since they have a different medical staff down in Carmel, that this would be new for the Chicago office now.    

Her first question was why am I doing this now.   I told her pretty much what I’ve been telling my friends & family all this time.   I’m tired of all the damage I’ve done to myself over the years and want to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and be healthy and fit once and for all.



After going through the preliminaries, we looked at my food journal.  One day, I did stop at McDonalds and had a Sausage McMuffin and a sugar free vanilla iced coffee.  I expected Linda to comment on the Sausage McMuffin, but when she told me I should NEVER EVER go to McDonald’s, as its poisonous to our bodies, my little devil inside wanted to jump up and protest.   She was already to defend McDonalds by saying they have oatmeal, fruit smoothies, salads and even a grilled chicken sandwich, which if you were to get with no mayo or fries, isn’t bad for you.   But just as I was formulated my plan of attack,  my little angel inside jumped up quickly and told the little devil, “Who are you kidding?  You know the chances of you choosing a healthy option every time you go are like 1 out of 50.   If you really are committed to breaking this cycle, just face it - you and McDonalds will need to permanently end your relationship and move on!”  My little devil dejectedly turned blue, but graciously backed down.  

Next was topic was breakfast in general. Having to leave the house by 5:15am, I’ve opted for getting as many Z’s as I could and just eat breakfast at work.  I figured since got to work before 7am, I was still good at having breakfast at the start of my day.  Surely a win for my little devil inside!    But as Linda explained, I really needed to have it earlier in the day.  Since my day started earlier, it needed to have the energy right away to set my metabolism for the whole day.  Plus, she and my little angel inside both noticed I tended not to eat breakfast at all on the weekends or work at home days.   So to help make it a better habit, eating breakfast BEFORE leaving in the morning it is.  Course, Linda did say on those mornings where I was really needed those extra Z’s, I could get my breakfast on the train.  Just make sure I bring it with me, no picking it up on the way.   The little angel in me silenced the little devil immediately.  You have a new car payment, so shouldn’t be buying breakfast out anyway!.  Again, the little devil had to sit back down and agree.

Next, Linda asked me what I felt were my downfalls or hardest cravings to deny were.  In a unified response, both my little angel and devil jumped up and announced ice cream, cakes and cookies.   No problem saying no to chips or salty snacks, and even starting to not care for chocolate candy anymore.   Linda asked a few more questions about how and when I ate them.   Then she told me I might have an actual sugar addiction.   Some people who are addicted to alcohol, also have sugar addictions too, as many alcohols are made with sugar.   So to break the habit and see if I have a true sugar addiction, for the 12 weeks of this program, NO PROCESSED SUGAR OF ANY KIND!   

This includes sugar substitutes, which most health coaches aren’t fans of any way.  But the thought of absolutely no cake, cookie, pie, doughnut, ice cream, brownie, muffin, flavored iced coffee, or lemonade during the next 12 weeks actually scares the little angel in me, while she watches the little devil in me concoct its plan to trip me up during the next 12 weeks.   In my little devil’s mind are all the summer parties and hot days that ice cream is really great for cooling off.  Fortunately, the little angel in me is stronger and reminding me that its only 12 weeks and if I really want to break this cycle, its in my best interest to just concede to no processed sugar items.   Little victory today, but will see how long she stays on top.  

We're back to my food log and on the subject of breakfast again.   Since I was at the high end of normal for my cholesterol levels, she wants me to stick to oatmeal or other high grain/high fiber breakfast foods during the 12 weeks.   Just no added sugar items.  I let Linda know that won’t be a problem as I love my oatmeal in the morning with banana and walnuts and a little brown sugar.  Linda told me to have the oatmeal without brown sugar or any processed sugar or sugar substitute.  While a little defeated, my little devil is still happy that she’s OK with banana & walnuts.  Even after Linda mentions that I should not have more than 1/3 of a large banana, since bananas are higher in natural sugar then other fruits.   She also told me instead of using sugar, that I add 1-2 tablespoons of yogurt in.  It will give my yogurt a creamy texture & flavor, plus a little protein.  Linda also suggested I try adding blueberries instead of bananas, and suggested for a bit of a variety.   The little devil squirmed a bit, as I am not a fan of most yogurts, but the little angel said, “Try it, you might like it.”   So yogurt went on my grocery list for that night, course, I have yet try it.  

Next on the list of items to go – No more pop, flavored waters or drinks made with processed or artificial sugars.   My little devil cried out “Please tell me there is no processed sugar in beer!”   My little angel said “Hush!  Your mom reads this blog!  Besides, not only is drinking alcohol not all the great for you, you don’t drink a lot and we can probably come up with other options if we really need too.  Screwdrivers with just OJ & Vodka will do fine.”  My little devil is relieved.    

They rest of my eating plan is just to continue the food log, eat 3-4 balanced meals, drink lots of water.  Oh, and on the food log, I only have to worry about tracking calories.   She also told me about a couple good free websites that provide free calorie counters and other fitness information.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/

www.myfitnesspal.com/forums

Next is exercise.   Linda, my little angel and I, all decide its time to get back to using the free fitness center again. My knee is all better, but we agreed using just the treadmill isn’t a good thing.   One, I don’t want to worry about injuring myself again, and it tends to get boring after a while.  So we created a plan where I will use the gym 3 days a week.  Plus, along with trying the bike and elliptical machine, Linda wants me to use more weight machines.  Fortunately, both my little angel and devil are excited about adding weights.   Course, my little devil has already won a couple battles by hitting snooze in the am this week.   But my little angel is reminding me as I type this, that my little devil needs to hit its own snooze button in the morning, so she can make sure I get out of bed and to the fitness center.   Linda also recommended I do some exercise once on the weekend, and with a buddy might help.   Perhaps walking.   My little angel says I could ask my mom.  Mom & I used to walk the indoor track all the time.   

After both my eating & exercise plans are in place, Linda hands me 2 more sheets.   I need to come up with 3 SMART Goals.   They have to be measurable realistic goals I can achieve during these first 12 weeks.  Obviously one would be to lose weight, but I have to determine how much I think I can.   Others can be about breaking bad habits or developing new ones.  But they can also be about things I hope to be able to do again or try for the 1st time.   So I’m working on those still.  I can tell you that the little angel in me is hoping she can just kick my little devil’s butt completely by the end of these 1st 12 weeks.

 

Where I stand right now is that Mom and I will walk on the track one day each weekend, provided our schedules allow.  If not, Bailey will be my partner.   After Monday’s session, I stopped at the grocery store and stocked up on more fresh fruits and veggies and some plain yogurt.   Then came home and tossed all the bad food in the fridge and cabinets.  It was hard to dump out some sugar free lemonade and Diet Coke, by my little angel held down my little devil through it all.  I’m still making individual packets of items so its easy to grab and go eat day.  As well as making it easy to make a healthy dinner as soon as I get home from work.     

I’m sure I’m forgetting some other handy tips and nutritional information she passed along, but I’ll share as I remember in future posts.   Please remember, this is a health plan that is being designed for me by medical professionals.  You should also consult your own doctor for a plan that is best for you.  Even Linda said no 2 people are alike, so it’s impossible to have just one health plan that works for everyone.   However, my one word of advice I think is safe to pass along to everyone, listen more to your little angels inside, then your little devils :-)





Day One – First Visit With My Nurse, Debby

For those who don't already now, I got accepted into a really great free weight loss program offered through my company's onsite health center. After having blood tests done, and completing a health evaluation, I had to wait to hear if I got to be one of the first 40 people to be part of this pilot program that will help me meet by weight-loss goal and be healthy, not just happy, for the rest of my life! 

Well...here I go! I was a little anxious and stressed running down to my appointment at 2 today. Couple things going on, like meeting my new boss via a telephone conference call right before, and also anxiously awaiting news on a car loan. Enough to stress your average person out, so probably not the best idea to do it during lunch on the day of my 1st appointment. But hey…life is not easy and so what better way to start off my program giving a pretty realistic picture of my life. 

Good thing, my next appointment is next Monday with my health coach, and group sessions begin on Tuesday! So really still excited and so looking forward to finding out what plan they will come up for just me! But for now, I guess I better get to my homework! Have a great week and Fourth of July!!!

Surprisingly, my blood pressure was lower than it was 2 weeks ago. Course, I have to admit I owe a lot of that to Debby, my nurse. She is one of those genuinely nice people who has a natural calming affect on people. When I first got there, I told her I was nervous as I ran down there. Right away, she said she wasn’t going to take my blood pressure (bp) right away then. Started with my weight, and guess what? I lost 2 lbs since she last weighed me. Which I’m thinking it might have been more if I didn’t have the celebration root beer float after my niece, Victoria and her team won their championship. But letting go of the guilt. One, because my feelings of guilt are one of my biggest self- sabotashers, and secondly, I hope there are many more celebrations in my future, so it's pretty cool that I celebrated responsibly and still lost 2 lbs!!!!

Next, Debby measured my height again. Here’s where I am once again shocked. I have been just under 5’9” ever since I finally stopped growing. When they took my measurements for this program, I was completely shocked that she said I was just barely 5’8”. I was shocked as to how I could lose and inch already since I have no osteoporosis, or had any vertebrae removed. But today, she had me remove my shoes, which were flats, and I am now down to 5’7.5”!!!! Seriously need to make Bailey stay awake during the night to find out where all my height is going? And if I have to lose inches, I wish it were from my dang long legs!!!! Yes! My legs! All you ladies who wish you had long legs – STOP! Trust me, trying to find slacks and one piece dresses is not fun. Even in my slimmer days, it was very difficult to find clothes that fit my unproportionate long leg/high- waisted frame. So really, God. If you’re going to zap inches from me, could you please figure out a natural way to shrink my legs? 

Oops, sorry…back to the weight loss journey. 

Next, Debby took measurements of my neck, waist and hips. I’m happy to report that while my waist and hip measurement are significantly higher then where I plan to be, they are within the prefect proportion range for eliminating me from the high cardiac risk….based on that measurement. Debby was careful to say being not a high cardiac risk is not only based on this measurement. Being at risk takes into account numerous factors. But going through this program, they plan on finding out everything about my health to make sure they know where I’m at and what risks I could have. It includes everything from the blood work before, the measurements today, and anything they find in the future, including thyroid, kidney, liver or any other issues. As for my measurements, the ratio came out to 7.1. According to Debby, that was in the prefect range. They want around 8 + or – one. Sorry, not sure how they figure it all out, so go have your doctor tell you. According to Debby, even people who seem thin, tone and healthy, could have a dangerous ratio for this measurement. For example, we all know those who seem like they carry a lot of weight below their hips or on their waist without much more on the hips, could be at risk. But those some who are so tone or thin that they lose their waist or hips so that they are almost both the same size, that could be a high risk for cardiac disease. So again, don’t freak out and go measure your neck, waist and hips. At your next check up, ask your doctor or nurse to tell you. 

After all the measurements and recording the biometric results I took for the program over into their online records for me, Debby handed me some papers. First, was a consent form to share my medical information with the health coach and any other medical professionals they could end up decided I would need to see. Plus it also included a confidentiality agreement not to share the personal health information the others in my group my say. Similar to Vegas, what happens in group FUSE, stays in group FUSE, when it comes to personal info. But sharing tips and recipes and my own info is still ok. 

After signing all my papers, I got homework! 

One sheet is a couple questions with various boxes with numbers to rank. One sheet reminded me a lot of the “how do you feel right now” questionnaire I used to complete during my therapist sessions when I was suffering from situational depression. This sheet was reassuring in a way. It let me know that they were serious about tackling any emotional issues that are preventing me from goal. So again, a little Woo Hoo went off in my brain.

Next sheet also had a couple questions, but with the “check all that apply” options. Basically, what is my motivational reason for wanting to be in this program, and what are do I think will be my biggest obstacles. Debby advised me to make sure I am completely honest. This form will be turned into my health coach. In order for my health coach to help provide a program that is best for just me, she needs me to be 100%. 

Then the final sheet is a food and exercise tracker. But for this first week, I should try to eat as I normally was for 3 days. 2 weekdays and 1 weekend day. She actually told me to avoid Wednesday, as Holidays aren’t typical days. Another Woo Hoo, went off in my brain at that thought. But at the same time, I don’t want to put on the 2 pounds I just lost, so I’ll be good. The point of eating as I was, is also for the health coach to plan to best program for me. Its was explained that its very dangerous to just dramatically drop too many calories at first. Not only could I be more likely to dump it from feeling hungry, but it could cause stress on your organs, including your heart, and prevent them from functioning properly. And the exercise tracker, as I learned from trying to do too much too soon in January, I could cause damage to muscles, tendons or bones. So again…gotta be honest and not try to do too much yet. 

Good thing, my next appointment is next Monday with my health coach, and group sessions begin on Tuesday!   So really still excited and so looking forward to finding out what plan they will come up for just me!   But for now, I guess I better get to my homework!   Have a great week and Fourth of July!!!